The 14-Year Old Kid

I do not know if I felt intimidated or excited but I remained silent the moment I stepped in through those doors. A fortress with its grey stone walls that seemed impenetrable to the outside world….at least that is what it seemed like to me as a 14-year old scrawny Sri Lankan kid. After additional security checks the immigration officer walks my mom, sister, and I into a cold waiting area that almost blinded me with its bright fluorescent lighting. I knew I was in for a long day of waiting and there was only so much Snake I could play on my Nokia 6110. Dragging myself along in my oversized t-shirt and jeans that my mom would convince me to buy because I would not need to go shopping for clothes when I got older (probably where I get my long-term thinking from), I plopped myself in a blue-cushioned chair.

..In New York (Ayy) (Uh, yeah)
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
There’s nothin’ you can’t do (That boy good) (Okay)
Now you’re in New York (Welcome to the bright lights, baby) (Uh, yeah)
These streets will make you feel brand-new
Big lights will inspire you (Okay)
Let’s hear it for New York (Uh)
New York (Yeah), New York (Uh)..

Swinging my legs back and forth in my seat I kept hearing the glittering paean to the Big Apple. The CRT TV mounted in the top right corner of the room had the “Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys music video playing in a loop.
Yeah, a CRT TV, I think those things are studied by historians in museums now.

My only impressions of New York City at the time came from movies like Home Alone and Spiderman. I did not know much else about it. Each time the song played I engulfed myself in the imagery. I was enamored by the tall buildings and bright lights. With lights blazing from every skyscraper, every office block, the Empire State building, and the Brooklyn Bridge, it brought New York to life. The views of the city were awe-inspiring and captivated me. I hadn’t seen anything like it in my lifetime…let alone imagine it.

What was that feeling that I had brewing in my stomach? Was it the anticipation of finally starting my new life in the United States? Was it the endless thoughts that kept running through my head about what I’d want out of my life? Was it the ambition I was setting for myself when I got older? Jay-Z and Alicia Keys were my own personal hype squad and with each passing lyric I felt exhilarated thinking I could do anything I put my mind to. All I knew was that I could not wait another second to experience what was to be the rest of my life.

The Uber dropped me off at a Chinese restaurant, a few steps away from the Manhattan Bridge. I had already walked the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan the day before so figured I’d walk the Manhattan Bridge into Brooklyn. Living in LA for majority of my life in the US, for a December, New York was not as cold as I thought it’d be. Nothing a jacket couldn’t fix. It was a damp Monday, and the overcast gave me a sense of comfort among the calm chaos. Along my walk, admiring the scenes, I knew I only had a bite-sized taste of what this incredible city had to offer.

I walked toward the Brooklyn Bridge Park to enjoy my exotic breakfast which consisted of a plain bagel with cream cheese and a coffee that everyone recommended I get during my stay in New York. I was not disappointed. The plethora of cream cheese made it seem like my cream cheese had a bagel in it.
I sat down at a bench that overlooked the stupendous Manhattan skyline. Wherever I would look, in whichever window or at the corner of whichever building, I could imagine a person carrying out normal, every day tasks in a city that is considered anything but normal.

“Empire State of Mind” on loop, I felt all the emotions rushing back to me. In that moment in time, my life felt it had come full circle. This is what I had imagined. After 11 years of living in the United States, it was as if I had just moved a few days ago. I was bursting with joy and it clearly showed on my face. I could not stop smiling, and I am certain anyone that walked by me may have thought I was a weirdo for smiling at nothingness. The 14-year old kid in me had dreamt this moment for a long time. I was in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

To the 14-year old kid in the oversized clothing, saying that there is so much I want to tell you is an understatement. All my life I have tried to live up to your aspirations that you had in that room in 2009. I continue to chase those dreams. I have stumbled along the way, gotten hurt, and made mistakes but I have learned from them. Everyone keeps saying that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I find that hard to believe. Do you think it is true? Nevertheless, I would not change anything about the life I have lived (except I do not wear baggy clothing anymore). I hope that I am what you had imagined you’d become. I hope you are proud of the man I am today.

Go on cruisin’ in your off-white Lexus. Life is short. You are the new Sinatra. No matter where and when you are in life, aim high. Continue to let the big lights inspire you. There is truly nothin’ you can’t do. You can make it anywhere.

“Alexa, play Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys”